Gods and Monsters
by Billie J
Summary: Little sequel to That Night but can be read on its own, sets the day after 4x07, Ian is up the roof and Mickey finds him listening to Lana del Rey


Hi ! This is a little sequel to that night, and a little bit inspired by the sneek peak we have about Ian's return. so I'm not that fond of songfics but I dreamt that one and I felt like that'd be cool to write !

You should listen to the song while reading it. Gives the right atmosphere I guess. Here watch?v=NemS84CQKHc on youtube !  
Enjoy !

NB : Shameless ain't mine, strict property of Showtime (bitches!), neither Gods and Monsters interpreted by Lana Del Rey.

Billie J.

* * *

Gods and Monsters

Mickey climbed the stairs, until he heard something. It was like a gunshot, except it wasn't. Everybody in this neighbourhood could definitely recognize a gunshot, and that wasn't. He climbed faster, knowing for sure Ian was there now.

- _In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel..._

Fuck, was he _singing_ ?! How gay was that ?

- Ay Ian ! shouted Mickey, arriving to the top.

Ian was sitting on the wall, his feet in the air.

- _Screwed up scared, doin' anything that I needed, shining like a fiery beacon..._

Mickey froze. Was he going to jump or something ? He walked towards him, as the voice of the singer flew out Ian's crappy phone. He stood there a while, Ian's croaking voice singing along.

- _Me and God we don't get along, so now I sing_... Why are you here ?

- To bring you home.

Ian suddenly burst out laughing. Mickey froze, never leaving Ian's sight, afraid the shaking body will suddenly drop down the old building.

- Can't you hear Mickey ? _Fuck yeah, give it to me this is heaven what I truly want..._

Mickey's face twitched. It was cold and Ian had took off his parka, shivering in the wind, looking at Mickey, a big crazy smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

- But you think that's even gayer than bottom, uh Mickey ? Singing feelings and everything...

Mickey didn't say a thing, standing up next to Ian. Ian just kept laughing. Mickey finally sighed. He could manage high or crazy people. He was a drug dealer after all.

- That ain't home Ian. Y'know that right ? You been home ?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah I've seen Fiona and shit y'know. She's been to prison ! Mommy Fiona went to prison, so y'know, I'm not the only one like that. This is great ! This is family !

Mickey bit his lip. Ian's pupils were normally sized, he wasn't even a bit high.

- _... I was an angel, looking to get fucked hard..._

- Lip's doing great in college ya know, replied Mickey.

Ian stopped singing right away.

- And Carl's a good boy. 'm sure Liam will be okay if he isn't left to only one guy who could fuck him up. Like Fiona. Six kids for one nearly grown-up girl, 'm surprised she didn't fuck up sooner. 'm betting on how long Lip'll keep up by himself. But whatever y'know.

Mickey sat next to Ian, and lit a cigarette. He exhaled the smoke and added :

- Fiona did a mistake, she hasn't fucked up yet. Well she fucked up, but not like... Frank fucks up y'know.

- Like I fuck up, muttered Ian, big smile on his face.

Immediately, Mickey understood Ian, _his_ Ian was here. He couldn't quite control his emotions but he was here. Somewhere beneath.

Mickey took a look at him.

- You didn't. Not really though. You'll be okay.

Mickey handed him the cigarette. Ian took it and mumbled '_No one's gonna take my soul away, I'm living like Jim Morrisson_' along with the music.

- But that song is really gay though, said Mickey with a smile.

Ian's shoulders shook and he laughed. Mickey's cigarette dangerously trembling between his fingers, tears flowing down his cheeks like he could do absolutely nothing to control it, he giggled non-stop.

Mickey stood up and laced his arms around Ian, making him leave the dangerous window.

- Will you go with Lip and me to that doctor ?

- I'm tired of living the way other people want me to live ! said Ian, facing him.

And suddenly, as if it made perfect sense in his head, he took his cheeks, and leant for a kiss. Mickey jumped a little and gasped.

Mickey thought about fighting or pulling back for a second but then he knew he couldn't, he just let him, unbearably sad but just surrendering. His inside tore and twisted. He was taking whatever Ian was willing to give him, and if it was a crazy meaningless kiss, he'd die to have it.

- Mickey and Ian sitting on a tree... sung a giggly Ian, letting his lips go.

- How do you want to live Ian ? mumbled Mickey, just ignoring what he just heard.

- I want... I...

Ian hadn't gone away from him. He felt his giggly breath caressing and tickeling his face.

- But I can't right ? I mean you can't fuck off and leave your child so I'll fuck off y'know. Maybe someday a guy just as good looking as you and tough and dirty and... and y'know, started to say Ian, gradually screaming. You know right ! That'd be so hi-larious, right ? One fucking bottom slut with blue eyes will take me home, and with luck he'll have fucking tats on his knuckles and I'll grab them when I'll fuck his ass ! Fuck ! FUCK MICKEY !

Mickey couldn't say anything. His vision was blurring and he couldn't do anything but stand there and watch Ian shout, Lana Del Rey track going on with the wind and Ian laughing even if what he said was supposed to be full of rage. He was losing it.

- Hey Ian...shush... c'mere.

Mickey took his arms and held him close. The music was still going on and Ian was quiet, his forehead resting on Mickey's shoulder.

- Are we going to dance ? said Ian's muffled voice in his shoulder.

Mickey's body tensed and he fought the urge to push Ian back and shout "No we're ain't gonna dance, don't go all gay on me dude !". As if he was waiting for it to happen and since it didn't, Ian let out a small chuckle and Mickey held him closer.

_No one's gonna take my soul away_

_I'm living like Jim Morrisson_

_Headed towards a fucked up holiday_

_Motel, sprees sprees and I'm singing_

_"Fuck, yeah ! Give it to me,_

_This is heaven what I truly want !"_

_Is innocence lost ?_

_Innocence lost._

They weren't really dancing. More like Mickey was holding him and they moved slowly, balancing forwards and backwards.

- I'm coming to the doctor... mumbled Ian in Mickey's neck.

Mickey nodded and sighed.

- I ain't going anywhere. I ain't letting you go.

No promises. Nothing was sure. Mickey just knew he'll always stick with him, whatever shall happen now. He'll go after him like a hammer, never letting him go away ever again.


End file.
